What kind of day is it? Is it a “need to hibernate” kind of day or a “life is good” kind of today? The inconsistent nature of MS is very frustrating and confusing.
Every day is it venture. Some days I wake up and feel like I can run a marathon. Well, not really! But I can walk well and fairly far, my balance is good, my right hand is is able to perform easy tasks, and my energy level is good. Recently, I had to take back a gift and exchange it for something else. So I had to go to a department store. And as you know, there is usually a lot of walking in a department store. I ended up walking the entire perimeter.
Yesterday was not a good day. I took my cane to the department store and felt like I needed to stop and rest every 10 steps or so. Everything was falling out of my hands, and people stopped to help me retrieve the items on the floor. They saw that I had a cane with me, so they probably realized, and rightly so, that I am disabled. I certainly didn’t mind their help, but I didn’t want to show myself as disabled. I could barely write my name on the receipt. On days like this, my right hand stays in a fist instead of being able to straighten all my fingers easily. Now that I’m back home, I feel like I need to hibernate for the winter.
Driving is also a very big challenge when I’m having a hard day. I can barely lift my foot and leg up so that I can move from the accelerator to the break and back again. I have to use my arm to help lift up my leg. If there’s little traffic, I’m OK. But if there’s a lot of traffic or I have a long way to go, it could be dangerous for me to be on the road.
As I have noted in my book, Fearless, I rely daily, and sometimes minute by minute, on God’s promises. He says that perfect love drives out fear. And his love for me is perfect. So if I keep looking at Him, and not myself or the current situations, I won’t wallow in fear and depression. It is only because of His love for me, that I’m able to find victory in spite of my circumstances. His promises help me to keep going and never give up. His perfect love drives out my fear!
I pray you are having a fearless kind of day!!
If you are interested, my book is available at http://www.westbow.com or Amazon and Barnes and Noble.